ON THE HISTORIAN'S MIND - Listening

I'm always amazed at the insight that I gain from the most unlikely of places.

Here in Coal Creek Canyon is published and distributed to residents a monthly "magazine" called the Mountain Messenger. It's filled with canyon news and other articles of interest, local's recipes and business cards, and, occasionally, words of infinite wisdom. Like . . . .

Have you ever noticed that it's not the "life of the party" or those with entertaining stories or witty insights who form the most lasting and deepest friendships? It's those who really know how to listen.

Listening is a lost art in our present day culture. Lee Iacocca has said, "I only wish I could find an institute that teaches people how to listen." Indeed, too many people fail to realize that real communication goes in both directions.

We lead such busy, fast-paced, distracted lives that we fail to listen to those around us. Maybe we hear their words - and maybe we even try to find the proverbial bottom line behind those words, but we still fail to hear the heart behind the words.

Listening is not a skill of a specially-gifted minority. Nor is it a unique gene that some have, and others don't. Listening is a skill to be developed, a discipline to be honed and practiced. Listening is active, not passive. Listening is aggressive, not lazy. Listening places another person and their needs ahead of ourselves and our own agenda.

"We have two ears and one mouth, so that we can listen twice as much as we speak." How many opportunities have been overlooked because we chose to talk and not to listen?

As we go throughout each day, we should choose first to understand, then and only then to be understood. May we all learn how to listen, and may we all practice that skill at every opportunity. It's a great New Year's Resolution!

Written Nov-Dec 2001